In this New Year, a wounded, angry and despairing friend from past days lashed out, and with cruel and mean-spirited words, ended our twenty-seven year relationship. He is not the man I knew. He is not the man I loved. He dissolved into a personal fog of frustration, bitterness and denial. I witnessed the slow disintegration of a personality. When we were eighteen, he filled the room with laughter and goofy humor. He provided delicious meals, excellent parties, fast cars and reliability. Now there are only mocking words, deceptive comments, manipulative actions, unrepentant denial and anger...anger.
When I heard my friend wanted nothing to do with me, I did the adult thing and discussed it (minus names and details) with my group of second graders. Their input was helpful. After listening with rapt attention one little girl piped up and said "Missy, I will be your friend..". I think that was all I needed...a second grader's simple thought process and a promise of friendship. The affirmation of an innocent second grader is much more meaningful ...much better than the searing disappointment of watching a friend self-wreck.
"I have three kinds of friends: those who love me, those who pay no attention to me, and those who detest me". The author of that statement gets it right. But I suspect that although this friend detests me...I fear it more likely that he detests himself. God bless him...and keep him...far from me.
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