Simplify. Walk through the city in the evening, led only by the light of street lamps and the glow of the moon. Choose your favorite pair of jeans and wear them every day for an entire week...no apologies, no excuses and no explanations. Refuse to deal with any school deadline for at least one week. Leave the television on one channel. Don't change channels at all, no matter how great the temptation. Listen to one student each day with fixed attention and for an extended time. Do not explain yourself...at all. Chew each piece of food well and contemplatively. Stop wasting time trying to fix people who do not wish to get better. End relationships which are negative and draining. Begin new relationships.
Do not get on the scale for at least one month. Hide the scale. Pay all your bills late this month. When blowing out a candle, stay and watch the smoke completely disappear. Think about where it goes. Do not dust or vacuum for a week. Stare into a person's eyes until both of you are slightly uncomfortable and then...speak. Let words linger unspoken on your lips, for five seconds longer than you think you can stand to be silent. Refuse to argue about anything. Walk away from angry people.
Let your gas tank go below E. Watch an entire program on television without getting up to do laundry, answer the phone, use the bathroom, eat or to use the computer. Refuse to move for sixty minutes. Stop doing ten things half-baked and instead do five things really well. Drink your coffee black...no calories, no fuss. Send someone a card...not an email. Get out of your car and take the time to pick up all the change that gets dropped at the drive-through window at McDonalds. Refuse to acknowledge the honking cars behind you. Speak slowly. Breathe deeply. Stare at someone who is being rude until they are flustered. Stop going to McDonalds for one month. Do not listen to the news. Do not listen to anything the Department of Education says. Do not read any emails from the Department of Education.
Drink one glass of wine and savor it. Watch the snow fall against the bedroom window. See how long you can go without doing laundry. Donate to Haiti. Pray on the way to work. Pray on the way back from work. Drive in complete silence. Drink cocoa so slowly that you will not burn your tongue. Do not criticize anyone. You may find yourself being silent for days. Buy yourself flowers. Give them away. Love each day and contemplate how rich your life is. Count five people who have difficulties greater than yours. Bless your students daily. Bless your co-workers daily. Bless yourself daily...and be thankful.
Wear the same pair of woolen socks for one week. Eat a large bowl of cabbage. Refuse to take any medications for one day. Light white candles to chase away the January darkness. Call a friend. Bake cookies for someone you do not like. Refuse to wear panty hose. Bite your nails. Walk for 90 minutes in the cold. Do not read the directions. Do not listen to your car mechanic. Ignore the check engine light in your car for one week. Buy a lava lamp and watch the wax go up and down. Take a scalding hot bath. Use at least a half a bottle of expenseive body lotion after the bath. Attempt to reconcile with an enemy. Go to bed much earlier than you ever thought you could. Thank God for a simple day. Understand fully that this day is gone forever. Rest.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Thanksgiving Tidbits
In the midst of the 5th grade social studies testing chaos, I choose to be thankful. I am thankful that I have a job in the middle of a recession. I am thankful it is an indoor job...I would last 35 seconds building highways or driving a combine on a large farm. I am thankful for all the interesting people I work with. We all have bad days and we all irritate one another at different times, but I work with people who are generally kind and considerate. These people do not swear at me, refuse to help me or try to control my personal life (most of the time). They bring in goodies and I share chocolates with them from my snack drawer. We all like coffee, except one and we still accept her anyway because she is nice. As trite as it may seem, I am thankful I have a job where there is time enough in the day to refresh my lipstick. I have a very shallow side and I am comfortable with it. I am thankful that there has not been a mouse in my room (yet). If there has been a mouse in my room, I have not seen it. That is the most important point.
I am thankful for my students this year. I have not always been able to say that. Some years, the students have been difficult to handle. This year my students are energetic, kind, chatty and enthusiastic and best of all, they think I am funny and cool. We all know that is why we get into teaching. I am thankful for the hundreds of hugs I receive every month from these students. They are affirming. I am thankful that when I walk down the hall, many voices (students I don't even know) ring out with..."Hey, you're the lady who does the announcements!"
All the creative and interesting personalities my little ones display daily, keep me on my toes and sometimes I find myself laughing long and hard at what my students say. I was recently asked if I had a mother. I told them yes because I was not hatched. They readily accepted this fact, although some seemed slightly puzzled by my answer. I am thankful that I have a job where I can be a stand up comedienne and that I am the only one who gets the jokes. I love that.
I am often surprised that some of my students learn as much as they do, and I am thankful for that. I am thankful for my own education and that my parents knew that education in the fullest and most complete sense, had nothing at all to do with standarized tests. I am thankful my Father spent hours with me, helping me to learn how to write well. I thank my Mother for working hard at introducing advanced vocabulary and the arts into my life. I am thankful that I can work within this crazy district and especially, with these children. I am also very thankful for turkey and pumpkin chocolate chip bread. My wish today is that my students will have something to be thankful about over the upcoming Thanksgiving weekend. That is my hope.
I am thankful for my students this year. I have not always been able to say that. Some years, the students have been difficult to handle. This year my students are energetic, kind, chatty and enthusiastic and best of all, they think I am funny and cool. We all know that is why we get into teaching. I am thankful for the hundreds of hugs I receive every month from these students. They are affirming. I am thankful that when I walk down the hall, many voices (students I don't even know) ring out with..."Hey, you're the lady who does the announcements!"
All the creative and interesting personalities my little ones display daily, keep me on my toes and sometimes I find myself laughing long and hard at what my students say. I was recently asked if I had a mother. I told them yes because I was not hatched. They readily accepted this fact, although some seemed slightly puzzled by my answer. I am thankful that I have a job where I can be a stand up comedienne and that I am the only one who gets the jokes. I love that.
I am often surprised that some of my students learn as much as they do, and I am thankful for that. I am thankful for my own education and that my parents knew that education in the fullest and most complete sense, had nothing at all to do with standarized tests. I am thankful my Father spent hours with me, helping me to learn how to write well. I thank my Mother for working hard at introducing advanced vocabulary and the arts into my life. I am thankful that I can work within this crazy district and especially, with these children. I am also very thankful for turkey and pumpkin chocolate chip bread. My wish today is that my students will have something to be thankful about over the upcoming Thanksgiving weekend. That is my hope.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
The Data Dance
Data is dumb. One of Webster's definitions of dumb is..."markedly lacking in intelligence: exasperatingly obtuse". Exactly. Data is exasperatingly obtuse when it does not present the true picture...the whole story, as it were. Since I will never, ever be an administrator in this district or in any other district, I can challenge data with impunity. I am not obligated to be loyal to district data.
For many teachers, data is a series of numbers thrown at them when a district is not sure what to do about students or a particular problem. Data becomes offensive when it is held up to be the whole truth. District data is something which can be manipulated any way to prove something that a district wants proved. Data is often about funding and making officials look good. Case in point...at a staff meeting last week, each of us was handed a sheet of statistics from the school year 2008-09. Test scores in the fields of math, English language arts and social studies were neatly printed in blue and yellow boxes with highlighted areas under the title of accountability status. What does accountability status mean anyway? Terms like accountability status are so vague. Data dancing.
Another term in those blue and yellow boxes is "Suspension Instances". That title is an example of what I call "data dumb down". "Instances" (which sounds harmless), mean multiple days in which well-educated and well-meaning teachers stop teaching to deal with unruly students who will not or can not learn. These students disrupt the educational process for all the other children who want to learn but can not because the rights of the disruptive students are deemed more important than all the other students. Teachers suffer extreme frustration and sometimes physical assault. "Instances", no matter how extreme, often happen multiple times before a student is removed from a classroom. Anger and frustration build and districts eventually lose excellent teachers who leave the profession or move to different districts. The attentive students left behind in the classroom miss countless hours of school due to disruptions. Data is NOT the whole story.
In 2005-06, our school had 310 short term suspensions and 28 long term suspensions. Jump ahead three years. In 2008-09, our school had 0 short term suspensions and only 1 long term suspension. Viewed by the outsider, this suspension information looks great. Viewed by teachers and administrators, this information looks very different. Why? Our new district superintendent disallows any and all suspensions in the city district. Period. End of story. Removing dangerous and disturbed and unruly students from the building "takes away their right to an education". One might say those students already surrendered some of their educational rights by refusing to learn and cooperate in the classroom. However, those students are not suspended but are thrown into the spin cycle which is the ATS room or (alternate to suspension).
ATS rooms (a.k.a "holding bins") are locations in the school where students are monitored and held. Even at the elementary level, these ATS rooms can be extremely difficult to maintain well. When students are profoundly disturbed, angry or determined to act out, location does not make much difference. They are not in a right frame of mind to learn, whether they are at home, on the streets or at school. At the high school level, ATS rooms become dangerous places when rival gang members sometimes end up together in the same space.
Perhaps in time, the district will figure out better and safer ways to monitor ATS rooms. Perhaps suspensions will be less because the students are different, not because the data is fudged. The data dance continues but many teachers choose to sit out.
For many teachers, data is a series of numbers thrown at them when a district is not sure what to do about students or a particular problem. Data becomes offensive when it is held up to be the whole truth. District data is something which can be manipulated any way to prove something that a district wants proved. Data is often about funding and making officials look good. Case in point...at a staff meeting last week, each of us was handed a sheet of statistics from the school year 2008-09. Test scores in the fields of math, English language arts and social studies were neatly printed in blue and yellow boxes with highlighted areas under the title of accountability status. What does accountability status mean anyway? Terms like accountability status are so vague. Data dancing.
Another term in those blue and yellow boxes is "Suspension Instances". That title is an example of what I call "data dumb down". "Instances" (which sounds harmless), mean multiple days in which well-educated and well-meaning teachers stop teaching to deal with unruly students who will not or can not learn. These students disrupt the educational process for all the other children who want to learn but can not because the rights of the disruptive students are deemed more important than all the other students. Teachers suffer extreme frustration and sometimes physical assault. "Instances", no matter how extreme, often happen multiple times before a student is removed from a classroom. Anger and frustration build and districts eventually lose excellent teachers who leave the profession or move to different districts. The attentive students left behind in the classroom miss countless hours of school due to disruptions. Data is NOT the whole story.
In 2005-06, our school had 310 short term suspensions and 28 long term suspensions. Jump ahead three years. In 2008-09, our school had 0 short term suspensions and only 1 long term suspension. Viewed by the outsider, this suspension information looks great. Viewed by teachers and administrators, this information looks very different. Why? Our new district superintendent disallows any and all suspensions in the city district. Period. End of story. Removing dangerous and disturbed and unruly students from the building "takes away their right to an education". One might say those students already surrendered some of their educational rights by refusing to learn and cooperate in the classroom. However, those students are not suspended but are thrown into the spin cycle which is the ATS room or (alternate to suspension).
ATS rooms (a.k.a "holding bins") are locations in the school where students are monitored and held. Even at the elementary level, these ATS rooms can be extremely difficult to maintain well. When students are profoundly disturbed, angry or determined to act out, location does not make much difference. They are not in a right frame of mind to learn, whether they are at home, on the streets or at school. At the high school level, ATS rooms become dangerous places when rival gang members sometimes end up together in the same space.
Perhaps in time, the district will figure out better and safer ways to monitor ATS rooms. Perhaps suspensions will be less because the students are different, not because the data is fudged. The data dance continues but many teachers choose to sit out.
Monday, November 2, 2009
The Rat Race
Last week, we developed a rat problem on our first floor. We teach in a refurbished building this year, but as luck would have it, there are still a few open spaces left by workers where rats gain access. Recently, teachers brought in a large crate of apples for a seasonal project with students. Here is where equation magic starts. It is a fairly simple equation, actually. Open spaces in the wall plus a crate full of delicious farm fresh apples plus cold weather equals rat problem.
I have an aversion to rats. This is an understatement. I lived in New York City for almost three years and observed the little beasts in all their glory, including the one that died in the wall of my building and almost drove me out with the rancid smell. Then there was the rat which entered Grandma's restaurant on West 114th and Broadway while my girlfriend and I were breakfasting. He or she wreaked indescribable restaurant havoc darting in and around customers. Suffice it to say, there was much high pitched shrieking and more than one cup of coffee was dumped.
Several years ago, I survived an encounter with a mouse (a smaller version of the same evil) who strolled across my head while I was drifting off to sleep in my bed one November evening. I discovered I am capable of evolving from a human being horizontal and asleep to a human being vertical and completely awake in approximately three seconds. I did not sleep the rest of that evening. Anything which can run or crawl or scamper faster than I can (and that would be a lot of things) is not my friend. Don't get me wrong. I love nature but I love it in the abstract. It needs to be outdoors and not inside where I am. Once that sacred threshhold has been crossed it is... game over! But I digress. Apparently a troop of rats entered our first floor classroom and decided to make off with the apples in the crate. One of the teachers reported that the rat bites in the apples were almost human size. Shudder! After sampling the apples, the rats strategized and decided to exit stage left dragging apples back through the gap in the wall. They ran into difficulty because the apples were too large to pull through the gap. The rats gave it the old college try but by the time they had given up and exited the building, the apples were wedged so tightly into the gap, the custodian had to use brute force with a broom handle or some such tool to push them out. I have not entered that room. I assume the crate of apples has been removed.
The same day the rats absconded with apples, a teacher on my floor removed her shoes first thing in the morning to relax as she readied herself for the new day. A few minutes later as she went to put her shoes back on, she discovered to her horror that a mouse had already nested in one of them. Another teacher standing nearby came to the rescue and squashed the mouse with his large foot. I have not entered that room either. I like nature but it needs to be elsewhere, such as in a National Geographic magazine. Rodents... may God bless them and keep them...far, far away from me. Amen.
I have an aversion to rats. This is an understatement. I lived in New York City for almost three years and observed the little beasts in all their glory, including the one that died in the wall of my building and almost drove me out with the rancid smell. Then there was the rat which entered Grandma's restaurant on West 114th and Broadway while my girlfriend and I were breakfasting. He or she wreaked indescribable restaurant havoc darting in and around customers. Suffice it to say, there was much high pitched shrieking and more than one cup of coffee was dumped.
Several years ago, I survived an encounter with a mouse (a smaller version of the same evil) who strolled across my head while I was drifting off to sleep in my bed one November evening. I discovered I am capable of evolving from a human being horizontal and asleep to a human being vertical and completely awake in approximately three seconds. I did not sleep the rest of that evening. Anything which can run or crawl or scamper faster than I can (and that would be a lot of things) is not my friend. Don't get me wrong. I love nature but I love it in the abstract. It needs to be outdoors and not inside where I am. Once that sacred threshhold has been crossed it is... game over! But I digress. Apparently a troop of rats entered our first floor classroom and decided to make off with the apples in the crate. One of the teachers reported that the rat bites in the apples were almost human size. Shudder! After sampling the apples, the rats strategized and decided to exit stage left dragging apples back through the gap in the wall. They ran into difficulty because the apples were too large to pull through the gap. The rats gave it the old college try but by the time they had given up and exited the building, the apples were wedged so tightly into the gap, the custodian had to use brute force with a broom handle or some such tool to push them out. I have not entered that room. I assume the crate of apples has been removed.
The same day the rats absconded with apples, a teacher on my floor removed her shoes first thing in the morning to relax as she readied herself for the new day. A few minutes later as she went to put her shoes back on, she discovered to her horror that a mouse had already nested in one of them. Another teacher standing nearby came to the rescue and squashed the mouse with his large foot. I have not entered that room either. I like nature but it needs to be elsewhere, such as in a National Geographic magazine. Rodents... may God bless them and keep them...far, far away from me. Amen.
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